Here's something that I threw together today after reading an article found on Breitbart written by AP White House Correspondent, Terence Hunt. The maroon, italicized sections are the beginning paragraphs of the actual article written about Bush's press conference today. The paragraphs following are my interpretation of what would've been written if Gore were in office. Enjoy the laughs and then realize that this probably isn't far from the truth.
Bush Acknowledges U.S. Concern on Iraq
In a somber, pre-election review of a long and brutal war, President Bush conceded Wednesday that the United States is taking heavy casualties in Iraq and said, "I know many Americans are not satisfied with the situation" there.
President Gore Uplifts the American Spirits over the minor Confrontation in Iraq
In an upbeat, pre-election review of a short and quiet confrontation, Gore stated Wednesday that the United States is winning at all costs in Iraq and said, "I know many Americans are unsettled with the situation" there.
"I'm not satisfied either," he said at a speech and question and answer session at the White House 13 days before midterm elections.
"I'm not satisfied either," he said at a fantastic speech and friendly question and answer session at the White House 13 days before another Democratic upsurge in the election.
Despite conceding painful losses, Bush said victory was essential in Iraq as part of the broader war on terror.
Explaining that the US will not bow to the terrorist insurgency, Gore said victory was essential in Iraq as part of the greater good for the war on terror.
"We're winning and we will win, unless we leave before the job is done," he said.
"We're winning and we'll win, thanks to my great leadership, never cutting and running," he said.
Bush said that as those fighting American and Iraqi forces change their strategies, the United States is also adjusting its military tactics.
Gore said that as those fighting American and Iraqi forces change their strategies, the United States is also adjusting its military tactics.
"Americans have no intention of taking sides in a sectarian struggle or standing in the crossfire between rival factions," he said.
"Americans have no intention of taking sides in a minor disagreement or standing in the way of compromise and acceptance," he said.
Several Democratic critics have said that is precisely what the administration is risking with an open-ended commitment of American forces, at a time that a year-old Iraqi government gropes for a compromise that can satisfy Sunni, Shiite and Kurdish political interests.
Several Republican supporters have said that is precisely what the country is willing to do for the Iraqi people, at a time where the new Iraqi government tirelessly works for a compromise to satisfy its citizens of all faith.
Bush spoke as Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki said the U.S. government has a right to revise its policies as it sees fit. At the same time, he said that talk of timetables for troop withdrawals "is not coming from the inner circles in the U.S. government," but the product of the American election campaign. "We are not much concerned about that," he said.
Gore spoke as Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki said the US government is has a right to the revision of policies and would consider them immediately. At the same time, he said that talks of timetables or troop withdrawals "is not coming from the strong Democratic government but the product of the weak Republican cut-and-run strategists. Gore will do the right thing," he said.